My head is racing from the previous meetings and thoughts collide around follow-up’s and potential opportunities. Making sure the progress gets visibly achieved and rolled up in form of to-the-point and efficient notes towards the the chain of command… I remember I have to call my sister and support her with her boyfriend troubles.. my mother called, granny has not been well… Did I take my supplements today?.. When is the cleaning lady coming?… I really need to reply to my friend Jimmy… I have been going quiet on him lately…
STOP Sarah! Stop right here…
When I am in my head like this, I tend to not fully notice my environment. There I am in a busy train train station – surrounded of fellow passengers, hurrying to the tracks or in in queues for a quick bite at a fast food chain. My thoughts were so loud and my mind so busy that I don’t even remember the last twenty meters I walked. What direction did I come from and why didn’t I pay attention?
The “ToDo” Lists in my mind are getting longer and longer and add sub genres. But within this busy mind, encircled by busy people with busy thoughts of their own what do I truly need? -Quiet! just for a short moment.
I look around and let the world pass by for a few seconds. With more than forty minutes until my train departs there is time – time to not be hassling myself around, because who is chasing me other than myself and my pounding thoughts?
Close to the train station is a book store which I had visited before. It’s getting dark early these days, but the lights of the shop shine brightly through its windows. Hesitatingly, I watch a few people inside, hovering around. It seems that like me, they’re looking for a quiet place or simply want to kill some time. It seems like a good place to be right now.
I enter and start browsing around. Like an automatic movement I move towards the business books and check out covers around “time management”, “strategic thinking” and “how to design innovative products that win”… My busy mind starts setting in again with the reading lists I have given myself to become a better professional… that I am actually very inclined to do my executive MBA next year… Again -no! Stop Again already...that’s not what I need right now. What I need is to help my mind to “zone” out, my thoughts to enter a different world, just get away from it all…
So I am walking past the list of bestsellers in fiction, seeking for something light and caressing. A novel I can flip through and leave my darned reality for a short while and dive into a fictive world composed by someone else.
I grab a few books and read the inside of their covers and take them to a big leather chair. An older lady is sitting in another one of those. She seems so peaceful and intrigued by the words, as if she would consume them, internalize them and not only read. She looks up at me and smiles gently, which gives me this sort of ease, as if she would say – It’s all right, we’re all there sometimes, just sit back and chill.
I run over a few pages of Game of Thrones, as I have never watched the series despite being someone who enjoys binge watching occasionally. Then I pick up Jojo Moyes’ “Me before you’ – it sounds like an easy read with a female protagonist in a love story, perfect to zone out. I then purchase both and a copy of “Nice Girls don’t get the corner office” – there is always things to learn an improve.
I buy more books than I read, it’s the process I enjoy more than anything and I hardly give myself time to read. There is always things to do, in the evenings I tend to be too tired and rather sit in front of the TV or work late.
Walking back from the store with my paper bag I see that my train is already waiting for the passengers to board. I pick a seat at the window and my natural first move is to grab my laptop out of my handbag intending to work on my follow ups and projects, presentations and notes. I stop myself again, after I feel the flood of racing thoughts announcing themselves again.
Instead I lean back into the seat and leave my work untouched. “You can work later or tomorrow morning with a fresh start.” I tell myself gently. “Give yourself some peace and quiet.”
So instead I grab one of the books and start reading. It takes a while until I fully grasp the sentences, as my mind continuously interrupts with the wave of ToDo’s and random responsibilities. Slowly it gets quiet, slowly I zone in and slowly I am in a different world of another woman and imagine her hair, her movement, her style, her surroundings.. I give my mind some quiet time and some peace. Just enough to zone out, but still keeping my brain somewhat active as it likes to be.
I did my work in the morning as I continued reading in bed for at least another hour after returning home from my trip. Nothing bad happened because I hadn’t finalized anything quickly and rushed. So I started in my morning with ease and happiness, because I’ve re-connected to one of my passions again – reading fiction novels.
Seeking the Happy Place 